As your parents get older, maintaining their independent living takes effort from all their family members — including you and your siblings. This can be stressful and cause problems between siblings, especially if one of you thinks the other is not pulling their weight. To minimize conflict, have a plan in place for open communication. The following is a guide to communication around planning and maintaining senior independent living.
Identifying Potential Conflicts About Senior Independent Living
There are a few areas where friction is most likely. One of them is your parents’ finances. Money is a touchy topic at the best of times. Also, the day-to-day needs of your parents can become overwhelming if one person is handling more responsibility than the others. The combination of daily chores, cooking, personal care, transportation, medication management, and medical appointments is a lot to take on. If it’s not divided in a way that makes sense to everyone involved, strife can build up along with fatigue and burnout.
How to Diffuse Conflicts Over Senior Care
First, keep in mind that both your parents’ situation and your circumstances will change over time. You shouldn’t expect to find one permanent solution for everything; instead, agree with your siblings that you’ll revisit the arrangements regularly and as-needed. Next, be as transparent as possible with each other about what you’re doing — especially when it comes to spending money on your parents’ behalf. Finally, remember that not all of these tasks have to be assigned to one sibling or another. Assisted living, independent living programs, and senior apartments all provide care for loved ones when the load is too big for your family. You can also seek temporary respite care for a break from these duties when it’s needed.
